SO IS LOVE............

There are a little bit over 6 billion of us sharing the mother earth right at this moment. So there are as many thoughts, feelings, reactions and behaviors. So as many ways of hating and loving. No matter what our backgrounds, our family habits or our education are, we are who we are when we hate and when we love. Because these are extreme emotions, they somehow touch our very base, our core in a way that none other emotion does. Anger or joy or sadness can be attained or controlled to a degree by therapy or medication, but once someone hates deep down inside, it is highly unlikely any medication will cover that up, or cure it. Hate is so deep rooted and entrenched in our psyche through bigotry, ignorance or brainwashing that it can strip us from our humanity in many ways. And this is witnessed by all of us, everyday in homicides, in every torture, in every genocide.

So is love. There are as many ways of loving as there are as many of hearts. Love is not something we learn along the way. We are all born with it. Look at the little babies, just full of love, ready to love anything and everything. We do fine tune our ways of loving however as we understand it involves others, be it a person, an animal or even a plant. But why do we love? Why do we choose that particular person, or even is it a conscious choice? If it was only physical attraction would not we pick the most beautiful people at all times? That is not the case, unless you are looking for only sex of course. Who we love is not always the best looking person we have ever encountered, or most successful or most affluent. What is it about that person that makes us feel different about them? Kahlil Gibran has this wonderful quote "It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even for generations" Then I thought about all the life coaches and all other gurus who try to tell us what love is, and how should we feel and behave in a "relationship." All the steps to follow, all the boxes to fill, all the lists to make, all pointing us to use our head, get the "ego" involved in it. Don't go to the next step until you are sure about the first step! Don't call someone the next day, so that they won't think you are "needy". All the rules that make it a game out of your feelings. All the negotiations about what the relationship is supposed to be or where is it going, what to label it, how to categorize it. No wonder we have so many single and divorced people everywhere. We are so worried and focused on the rules and the labels and the steps that we forgot how to just be, and let ourselves to love and to be loved.

Love is not a head matter. If your head is in it, your ego is in it. And there is no place for ego in love. Love is spirit related, it comes from within. It does not have a rational, does not have reason, does not have logic. That is what makes it so ethereal, magical, so innocent. And that is why it is rare, unusual and precious. That is why it is crazy and difficult to understand for most of us. It is unabashed surrender. By all means, if you are in a relationship and need to follow rules to make it work, please do so. I am not recommending being unruly or rude or ill mannered. What I am saying is that if it is love, true love, you do not need the rules. Love is patient and kind and giving and unconditional, naturally. When you feel that deep connection to any being, your child, your lover, your friend, you do not think about rules to follow to know how to love them. It is embedded in you. Instinctively you know what they think, how they feel, what makes them hurt, what makes them happy. There is no infatuation period to be a mother. The second you feel your child in your belly that is the second you are in love with them. I do understand that this is not possible for all of us for many reasons. For this kind of love one must still have that childlike innocence deep down inside, that unwavering trust and fearlessness. That is why it usually is available for young people, because the older we get cynical we become, carrying all our past hurts over and all our terrible experiences above. We built our walls of protection because it hurts to be not loved back, it hurts to be betrayed, it hurts to be abandoned. I understand. But if you are lucky enough to even have a glimpse of that kind of love, I do recommend taking the chance. Because we are at our best when we are in love. When we can put another before us, unconditionally, allowing them to be who they are, accepting them, loving them as they are, that is the highest point in ourselves! Love can make us better people because it brings out the best in us. I wish each and every one of you to have this experience even if it is once in your lifetime, even if it is short lived. Like Tennyson once said “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." Take your ego out of it, take your past hurts out of it, stuff your rules in a bag, just go for it. It is your Godforsaken right to love and to be loved. Allow yourselves to that openness where -yes may be you can get hurt-, but you can also touch the stars. If there are 6 billion of us, there are as many chances to love! And as many people to love! Don't go to your deathbed wondering!